my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
COCAINE IS GR8
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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