Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Im part way to drunk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
