you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize