yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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