Fuck appropriateness.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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