I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
