there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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