Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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