So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
