Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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