R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
