am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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