I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The best revenge is premature balding
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
