All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
