Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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