Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize