THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
