I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
