drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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