The brown eye won't let me do that either.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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