I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
