Yo dont text me then not text me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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