you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize