my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
