she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize