you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
