i permit you to call me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
