Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
