He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
