So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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