you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
