3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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