I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
