he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
