Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
