guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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