omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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