I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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