idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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