Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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