So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
