Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
