i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
