I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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