Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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