I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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