It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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