its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
