laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
