But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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