I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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