question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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