Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
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Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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