Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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