Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
