we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
