i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
