Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
