Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he was CRYING into my vagina
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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