Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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