youre lurking in front of me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
